You’re the daughter she never had, but keep in mind your mother-in-law has some fantasies of her own. You may be crazy about her son, but you haven’t seen anything yet – call it a clash between ‘Monster-in-law’ and ‘Everybody loves Raymond’, here are five mistakes all mother-in-law’s make when forming a relationship with their future daughter.
You Stop By Unannounced
Mother-in-law’s have a tendency to play the second mother, bringing more war than peace to a family household. So, how can you prevent a sequel to ‘wrath of the titans’? Simply tell your mother-in-law to call ahead of time before visiting her grandchildren or yourself. There are days we all want control, but by doing this, you’re more likely to derail a relationship rather than speeding it forward.
You Want Her to Call You ‘Mum’
Sometimes we want but just can’t have. As much as you’d like your daughter-in-law to call you ‘mother’, there are ways you can communicate that sentimentally. ‘I’m here to support you if you ever need me. Whatever you feel comfortable calling me, I will answer to’, is a great approach to slowly hint at what you want from your daughter-in-law. Simply demanding the ‘mummy’ title is not an easy task, and a big no-no!
You Give Her Unwanted Advice
You Talk About Her to Your Son
These days, mother-in-laws feel violated about the lack of communication in the family, and lash out to their sons in a ‘game of thrones’ attack. Never trash your daughter-in-law – if you feel she isn’t sociable or clearly closing you out, then the best approach is to open up to her directly. Being expressive in your statements can go really far – ‘I feel left out,’ or ‘I’d like to see the children more frequently’ are perfect examples of family interaction.
You Criticise Everything
This is a mistake mother-in-laws don’t know how to tread lightly with. Even a simple question can come off as judgmental, especially if you actually care about nurturing your daughter-in-law. Here is a simple fact, there will be differences in how she raises her children versus how you did it; and you must recognise this. Because when things are said from a traditional view, it can be deeply insulting to a contemporary woman.
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